All and Well - The God Given Pattern of Obedience

A Series of Musings on the Book of Esther - Part Three

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians vi.1, nkjv)

Such a small and simple statement. A command that I have read again and again. But do I understand it? Do I believe it to be true?  Do I apply it? These are questions that the Lord has been laying before me repeatedly in the last few weeks.

I live in the midst of a society that widely believes that punishing children is wrong – that correcting them is unkind. I live in the midst of a culture where disobedience and disrespect are commonplace and even expected in the home and I realize that I too have unwittingly accepted something less than that which He has described as ‘right’. I have made excuses and adopted justifications that He never gave.

So how does my, and our, perspective need to change in this area to come into alignment with God’s? Well, the first thing that God placed His finger on in my life was a couple of excuses that I had come up with, or at least adopted, as to why I didn’t need to obey my parents.

Excuse #1 – No Longer a Child

By using the very first word in the verse I was justifying myself in disregarding the rest of the command. For the verse said ‘children’. I agree that kids should obey their parents but I am an adult. Society told me that at eighteen I had become free to make my own decisions. I still listened to the counsel of my parents, of course, but I viewed it more as suggestions than as authority that I was bound to obey. I was an adult and surely God knew that adults have to make certain decisions for themselves.

Well, to my surprise, I found out that the Greek word Teknon that is translated to say children in Ephesians vi.1 and other verses like it, doesn’t specify parameters of age at all. The description of ‘children’ wasn’t those under eighteen, twenty-one, or twenty-five. Rather in the context of this verse the word Teknon simply means offspring, descendants, dependants, or those who have been nurtured and moulded by wisdom. In other words, I wasn’t freed from responsibility to the God given authorities in my life just because I had turned eighteen.

In addition to defining of the word children, I found that God’s word also undermined my excuse through the example of Esther.

“Now Esther had not revealed her family and her people, just as Mordecai had charged her, for Esther obeyed the command of Mordecai as when she was brought up by him.” (Esther ii. 20, nkjv)

Esther was a full-grown woman and, at this point, a married woman and even the Queen. Yet she obeyed Mordecai ‘as when she was brought up by him’ or as when she was a child. Esther obeyed Mordecai willingly - she was no longer under his roof or in his presence; there was no way that Mordecai could make her obey him or punish her if she did not. But still she obeyed. Why?

Because it was right.

Excuse #2 -The Percentage Principal

Now we come to my second excuse - what qualifies as obedience?

I obeyed my parents in most things. In the big things. In the important things. I obeyed ninety-five percent of the time. Surely, that meant that I was obedient. The few times when I felt like I needed to decide something for myself, when I disagreed with what I had been told to do, or when my mom had only ‘suggested’ what I should do didn’t count. Did they? What did God expect of me? What was ‘good enough’ for Him?

 “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” (Colossians iii.20)

I read this verse and two words seemed to be instantly highlighted in my mind. Two, little words that added a whole lot of emphasis and clarity to that command. Two, little words that completely tore away my justification and brought a search light upon my motivation. Those words were ‘all’ and ‘well’. ‘Children, obey your parents in all things.’ All is a very simple and very clear word and in this context it clearly and simply told me that there were no exceptions, no suggestions, and no ‘good enough’- God expected me to obey all the time and in everything.

 Then there was well. “For this is well pleasing to the Lord.” Another small and simple word. That simply told me that when I obey my parents it pleases Him. My reason for obeying needed to change from an attempt to be ‘good enough’ into a desire to please Him. If that was my reason for obeying, no reason to disobey could be greater.

The Consequence for the Disobedient Son

God’s standard for obedience is in all things and this pleases Him. Alternately, when we are disobedient it displeases Him.

In both Romans i.30 and 2 Timothy iii.2 we find disobedience to parents included in lists of sins - sins that Paul says in Romans i.28 are symptoms of a debased mind and are not fitting. In addition to these New Testament references, we find clear commands in the Old Testament of how such behaviour was to be dealt with. For example, we read in Exodus xxi.17 that “he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”

This is a rather shocking punishment especially when we think of it in the context of our culture as it moves towards outlawing physical discipline of any kind. If we define the word for curse, Qalal in the Hebrew, it only serves to make the matter more difficult. Qalal means to treat with contempt, to dishonour, to slight, to lightly esteem, or to treat as being of little account. Thus, we could say that he who treats his father or his mother with contempt shall surely be put to death which is an even more shocking and convicting statement.

These are behaviours that are commonplace in our society and in many of our lives. However, despite the fact that we have come to deem these attitudes and responses as harmless and normal the God in heaven and Judge of all deems those who are guilty of them to be worthy of death.

The Reward for the Obedient Son

The God given consequences for disobeying and disrespecting our parents are pretty hard to swallow. But then, the God given consequences for disobeying in general are hard to swallow. For it is not only because we have shown disrespect to our parents that we are worthy of death, but because of every way that we have disrespected and disobeyed God.

In contrast, however, to the punishment of disobedience we find in Exodus xx.12 that there is a reward for those who are obedient:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

A similar promise is repeated in Proverbs iii.1-2,

“My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands;

 for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.”

There is only one son who has ever kept the law of honouring father and mother. Who has obeyed in all things and proven well pleasing to the Lord. Whose heart has kept his father’s commands - that is Christ Himself.

We have been disobedient and received the consequences and likewise the Son who was obedient has received the reward. His days will be everlasting and He has a peace that transcends all understanding. The good news is, that He has chosen to share both His peace and His length of days with us.

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.”

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?  For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews xii. 5-11, nkjv)

In Christ

quiana