"I hung back. I seemed to have so many points against me. I
didn't have the learning, and, hide it though I might from others, I had a
crippled ankle. How could I expect to be a missionary if I couldn't even walk a
city block without pain?"*
Andrew knew that God was
calling him to be a missionary, but he didn't see how he could obey. The
traditional route of becoming a missionary required him to get ordained
as a minister. To do that he would have to first make up the schooling that he had
missed during the war. Altogether it would take twelve years of study and, if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, there was the expense to be taken into account as well.
A friend told him of an alternate
route, an English organisation called the Worldwide Evangelization Crusade (the WEC).
They trained men to be missionaries without requiring them to be ordained first. But this too had a catch - at the end of the two-year program they
sent their students out without any financial support. Andrew didn’t know how he
felt about begging from churches as he went along.
On top of it all there was his ankle - a war injury that had never properly healed.
On top of it all there was his ankle - a war injury that had never properly healed.
"I began to ask
myself if I really intend to be a missionary - or if it was only a
romantic dream with which I indulged myself?
I had often heard talk of ‘praying
through’, of sticking with a prayer until you got an answer. So, I determined
that I was going to try it. One Sunday afternoon in September, 1952, I went out
to the polders where I could pray aloud without being embarrassed. I sat on the
edge of a canal and began talking to God casually, as I might have talked to a
friend. I prayed through coffee and cigar hour, right through Sunday afternoon,
and on into the evening. Still I had not reached a point where I knew I had
found God's plan for my life.
"What is it, Lord? What am I holding back? What am I using as an excuse for not serving You in whatever You want me to do?"
And then, there by the canal, I finally had my answer. My "yes" to God had always been a "yes, but." Yes, but I'm not educated. Yes, but I'm lame."- Brother Andrew, God's Smuggler
When God asks us to do something, most of us know better than to
say “no” and yet we don’t exactly say “yes” either. We hesitate, we procrastinate, we agree on certain terms. Like Brother Andrew, our "yes" is accompanied by a "but".
I'll be a missionary, but I’m not
going to do twelve years of study. I will be a missionary, but I need to have financial support. I
will ask for forgiveness, but they
have to ask me for forgiveness first. I'll tell that person about the gospel,
but only if they approach me. Is this obedience?
In October 23rd’s post, Legally Bound, we learned that we
are legally required to obey God. God gave us the responsibility to say "yes" to
Him in whatever He asks us to do. In correspondence to this He gave us a promise– He committed to provide us with everything that we would need to obey. But that promise of God was never meant to be an excuse for our delayed obedience. Obedience was not meant to be put off while we stand around, waiting to see if God is going to come
through with His promise, and yet this is so often our response to God's requests.
It is the same attitude that we see when little children are trading things and they argue about who should be the first give their item to the other. Eventually they agree to count to three and both hand over their treasures at the same time. This type of behaviour stems from a lack of trust. Neither party wants to give up what they have until they are sure they will get what the other has promised in exchange. When we say “yes, but” to God we are essentially saying that we will only give what is required of us - obedience, after we have what God has promised us - provision. We don’t want to be the one who goes first in this deal, because we don't trust God to follow through on His end of the deal. Or to do so in the way that we want Him to. In a way that we are comfortable with. This lack of trust is the exact opposite of the faith that God has asked us to have in our dealings with Him.
It is the same attitude that we see when little children are trading things and they argue about who should be the first give their item to the other. Eventually they agree to count to three and both hand over their treasures at the same time. This type of behaviour stems from a lack of trust. Neither party wants to give up what they have until they are sure they will get what the other has promised in exchange. When we say “yes, but” to God we are essentially saying that we will only give what is required of us - obedience, after we have what God has promised us - provision. We don’t want to be the one who goes first in this deal, because we don't trust God to follow through on His end of the deal. Or to do so in the way that we want Him to. In a way that we are comfortable with. This lack of trust is the exact opposite of the faith that God has asked us to have in our dealings with Him.
He always supplies what is needed
for His people to obey Him. He always comes through. But rarely does He show us
His provision ahead of time and He never promises that it will come in the way
we want or expect it to. Rather He asks us to obey instantly - even before we’ve seen His
provision. To do our part in faith, trusting that He is faithful.
"To another He said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke ix. 59 - 62)
Jesus was calling for followers, for men who would say "yes" to Him and He told those He called that there was no place for a "yes, but" in the kingdom of God. No space to give qualification to your obedience. To do so is just as bad as saying “no”.
Jesus was calling for followers, for men who would say "yes" to Him and He told those He called that there was no place for a "yes, but" in the kingdom of God. No space to give qualification to your obedience. To do so is just as bad as saying “no”.
"With my next breath, I
did say "yes". I said it in a brand new way without qualification.
"I'll go, Lord," I said, "no matter what, whether it is through
the route of ordination, or through the WEC program, or through working at
Ringers. Whenever, wherever, however you want me, I'll go. And I'll begin this
very minute. Lord, as I stand up from this place, and as I take my first step
forward, will you consider that this is a step of obedience to You? I'll call
it the step of yes." *
Obedience to God isn’t optional. It is meant to be instinctive. We shouldn’t have to decide if we will say “yes” to God, it should be a predetermined decision. A choice we’ve
made long before He asks us to obey. We should be able to say “yes” before we
even know what it is that He is asking because we know that God will only ask us to do that which we should do and that He will also
supply us with the means to do it. Simply saying "yes", without qualification, leaves an opportunity for God to be God.
This was a step of faith for Andrew, a step of obedience, a 'step of yes' and he was about to discover what God intended to do with it. He had learned the first rule in a game that he didn't yet realise that he was playing. Now it was God's turn...
This was a step of faith for Andrew, a step of obedience, a 'step of yes' and he was about to discover what God intended to do with it. He had learned the first rule in a game that he didn't yet realise that he was playing. Now it was God's turn...
to be continued
In
Christ
quiana
* Quotes, excerpts, and facts have been taken from Brother Andrew's book God's Smuggler